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20 weeks

I feel like there have been lots of changes in the past month. Its so hard for me to believe that a month ago we were on vacation. You couldn't pay me to sit on a plane for that long now! As I've continued to grow its become a lot more difficult to get comfortable anywhere. Standing up actually feels best... Oh, the irony.

This past weekend we checked a few other big to-dos off our list. We ordered the gliders for the nursery and hired night nannies! I am so excited about the two ladies who are going to help us through the first few months that the babies are home. There have already been so many times through this journey that we've seen the Lord's provision play out perfectly. Finding these night nannies was just one more very tangible example of that provision. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you hiring a nanny was one of the weirdest and most surreal things I've done in a long time. It was bizarre to sit down and talk with someone about taking care of our little girls. All four of them! ;)

I'm gearing up for hospital bed rest. I know my days at home are numbered, and that much of the next three months will most likely be spent on strict bed rest. Hospital bed rest was one of my greatest fears very early on and I feel like now that its closer to happening I'm ready. I know its going to be hard to be away from home for so long, but its necessary in order to get our girls here safely. That makes all the "hard" stuff worth it.

I've been meaning to record some of my favorite foods and aversions for my memory. I crave ice cream 24/7. Strawberry is by far my favorite and I decided its best if its not kept at our house. Boundaries are good, right? I love cereal, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, grilled cheese and turkey, cheese and crackers, and lots of fruit. From the beginning I've preferred carbs over meat. However, the thought of pasta, or anything to do with pasta, makes me want to gag. I'd prefer not to eat than eat pasta and that's saying a lot!

Here is a belly pic from this week and one from almost a month ago so you can see the difference. I got an email today saying that the babies are measuring about 10 inches in length. Here's what 40 inches of baby looks like!

 19 weeks 6 days
16 weeks 1 day






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Past Posts

Mary Grace

At 2:00 am this morning, our sweet Mary Grace was welcomed to Heaven. We found out this afternoon that she had a large brain hemorrhage. Reid and I spent three precious hours holding our daughter tonight. The nurses wrapped a pink bow around her little head and we swaddled her in a soft pink elephant blanket. During those hours, we told Mary Grace how proud we were of her fight, how she fulfilled our dreams of one day having a daughter to call "Gracie," and we even took a little nap, snuggled together as a family. If we told her we loved her once, we told her a thousand times. We prayed over her and gave her back to the Lord. We miss her more than words can say. I feel like we were punched in the stomach today and left with the wind knocked out of our lungs. Its so hard to understand "why?" in all of this. Tonight when we left the hospital, Reid turned on this song by David Crowder Band and we listened to it on repeat the whole way home. Its the exact state of our...

One day at a time

For the first time in my life I feel like I'm truly living one day at a time. Reid and I had a pretty good day yesterday. We were able to sleep in which was wonderful. Reid made us lunch and we sat outside in the backyard. It was a beautiful day and being outside did a lot of good for my mental health. :) There were still a lot of hard moments as memories from the night before would come rushing back to mind. We miss our sweet babies so much. Olivia had a good day yesterday. It was uneventful (which is a very good thing in the NICU) and they were able to turn down some of her medicine. We call every morning to check on our sweet girl and her nurse was quick to tell us how feisty our daughter is. We picked up on that in her first day of life, but it was funny to hear that someone else had observed the same. We are so in love with our feisty little Olivia. After we left the hospital, Reid and I went on a dinner date. It was so good for us to get out and feel like we...

Family of Four

If all continues to go well we will be headed home from the hospital tomorrow. I got a little stir crazy this afternoon and walking the halls just wasn't going to cut it so I went down to the gift shop to browse a bit. It feels so good to actually feel good after surgery. I also feel pretty rested and I'm very ready to settle into our new normal at home. My dad and Ann have been taking care of Olivia and have been such a tremendous help to us. Reid's parents were in town until this afternoon and Olivia got to spend some time with them yesterday. She's been very well taken care of by all her grandparents and I'm pretty sure she hasn't thought twice about us. Out of sight, out of mind. She has had a cough for a few days so Reid took her to the doctor this morning. Sure enough the cough is just allergy related but sweet girl has her first ear infection. The good news is that she hasn't run a fever and was able to get antibiotics to treat it. For all the change ...

Madelyn Barrett

I really don't even know where to begin or how to write this post. I've put it off for several days hoping that maybe if I let things sink in a little more it would be easy. This will never be easy. As you know, we welcomed three beautiful little girls into the world on Friday afternoon. We had hoped to continue to "buy time" and hold off on delivery for several more weeks. God has always had a plan much bigger than either Reid or I could ever imagine. I have to chose to believe, everyday, that somehow this all fits perfectly into that plan. We knew from the time of her delivery that Madelyn was struggling the most. The circumstances surrounding her birth caused a lot of trauma to her tiny body. After a day of fighting for a positive outcome, the neonatologist came to visit with us and told us it was time to let her go. Late Saturday night we went to the NICU to hold our precious baby for the first and last time. She was absolutely perfect and looked just like h...

Surprise!

God has blessed our family with quite a surprise! Olivia is getting a little brother or sister in early December. We are thrilled! As of today I am nine weeks along. We went to the doctor several weeks ago and were able to see the tiny bundle and hear the heartbeat. Everything looks great and we are so thankful! I'll share more details in the next few weeks. :)